Post by Kage Chaos on Sept 12, 2006 16:08:51 GMT -5
The Chronicles of Greg
Book the First
On the fourth day, in the midst of battle, a fierce wind sent Greg and his companions into the abyss of the almost neverending curse of the undead. Although he wielded the +14 longsword of healing, he felt that might not be enough to combat the dark and very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very mysterious evil that would soon confront him. He and his comrades would most certainly meet their doom.
Book the Second
Even though he was sure that hope was lost, his companions were even more frightened. The sensation of death overcame their normally tremendous fortitude. Then, even when they thought all was lost, it became dramatically worse. Greg’s wife called on the cell with an important message that would probably have saved their lives. Unfortunately, the phone had bad reception and the call was cut-off right before she revealed the potentially plot-changing information.
Book the Third
Greg threw down the phone in anger.
“Dammit!” Greg shouted, “I never should’ve used Sprint!”
He tried several times to call his wife, and on the 676th try he finally succeeded, but the call became the indescribably annoying sound of static. All he could hear were the last words he would ever hear from his wife.
“…Spoon…of…Kings…”
Static soon filled him with rage. Greg barely managed to avoid death as the phone exploded and shattered into exactly 676 pieces. Weirdly enough, the lithium-ion battery from the cell phone somehow ended up being implanted in his brain via the force of the explosion.
Book the Fourth
Due to the battery implanted in Greg’s brain, he became completely unable to sleep. His men grew worried from his lack of sleep, but Greg was too focused on his quest to find the “Spoon of Kings.”
Book the Fifth
After 663 days of searching for the “Spoon of Kings,” Greg had a suspicion that it would take about 13 more days to find it, although he wasn’t sure exactly why. His companions grew weary, but his lithium-ion battery charged brain let him keep going and going and going and going and going and going.
One night, he was standing guard while his men slept. Suddenly, the battery died! He collapsed just as a pack of wolves came stalking upon them. The sound of his body hitting the ground awoke the men, who convinced the wolves not to attack Greg. The wolves agreed, but in return they asked that all of Greg’s men commit suicide.
Book the Sixth
Greg awoke the next morning with a bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad pain in his head. He immediately realized that he was goin to die in 12 days. Ironically enough, that was the same amount of time he had left to find the “Spoon of Kings.”
Book the Seventh
Remembering the Sioux Shaman he had heard about on his travels, he headed to the place he thought he could find the Shaman. Once again, or maybe not once again, he found what he was looking for. It took 3 days, but the Shaman’s magic cured him and removed the battery from his brain. Consequently, the Shaman (who was also the Medicine man, due to the lack of Sioux) lost his hand because of the battery acid.
Book the Eighth
The Shaman (who was unable to keep his job refilling slot machines at the casino because of his missing hand) joined Greg in search of the “Spoon of Kings.”
Book the Ninth
With only 9 days left to find the spoon, Greg and Spotted Horse (the Shaman) were very worried. Just then, they saw it! A tiny squirrel covered with spikes!
“It’s the squirrel of doom!” Spotted Horse yelled out.
“It has the spoon!” Greg yelled.
Book the Tenth
Greg and Spotted Horse spent 7 days chasing the squirrel of doom. On the eighth day, the Shaman grabbed at the squirrel with his one hand which then became impaled with 676 spikes. Although he no longer had use of his hands, they now had the spoon!
The Book After the Tenth
Now that they had the spoon, they didn’t know what to do with it, so they decided to use it to take turns eating ice cream at Maggie Moo’s. Since Spotted Horse had no hands, Greg fed him.
THE END OF THE CHRONICLES OF GREG
Book the First
On the fourth day, in the midst of battle, a fierce wind sent Greg and his companions into the abyss of the almost neverending curse of the undead. Although he wielded the +14 longsword of healing, he felt that might not be enough to combat the dark and very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very mysterious evil that would soon confront him. He and his comrades would most certainly meet their doom.
Book the Second
Even though he was sure that hope was lost, his companions were even more frightened. The sensation of death overcame their normally tremendous fortitude. Then, even when they thought all was lost, it became dramatically worse. Greg’s wife called on the cell with an important message that would probably have saved their lives. Unfortunately, the phone had bad reception and the call was cut-off right before she revealed the potentially plot-changing information.
Book the Third
Greg threw down the phone in anger.
“Dammit!” Greg shouted, “I never should’ve used Sprint!”
He tried several times to call his wife, and on the 676th try he finally succeeded, but the call became the indescribably annoying sound of static. All he could hear were the last words he would ever hear from his wife.
“…Spoon…of…Kings…”
Static soon filled him with rage. Greg barely managed to avoid death as the phone exploded and shattered into exactly 676 pieces. Weirdly enough, the lithium-ion battery from the cell phone somehow ended up being implanted in his brain via the force of the explosion.
Book the Fourth
Due to the battery implanted in Greg’s brain, he became completely unable to sleep. His men grew worried from his lack of sleep, but Greg was too focused on his quest to find the “Spoon of Kings.”
Book the Fifth
After 663 days of searching for the “Spoon of Kings,” Greg had a suspicion that it would take about 13 more days to find it, although he wasn’t sure exactly why. His companions grew weary, but his lithium-ion battery charged brain let him keep going and going and going and going and going and going.
One night, he was standing guard while his men slept. Suddenly, the battery died! He collapsed just as a pack of wolves came stalking upon them. The sound of his body hitting the ground awoke the men, who convinced the wolves not to attack Greg. The wolves agreed, but in return they asked that all of Greg’s men commit suicide.
Book the Sixth
Greg awoke the next morning with a bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad pain in his head. He immediately realized that he was goin to die in 12 days. Ironically enough, that was the same amount of time he had left to find the “Spoon of Kings.”
Book the Seventh
Remembering the Sioux Shaman he had heard about on his travels, he headed to the place he thought he could find the Shaman. Once again, or maybe not once again, he found what he was looking for. It took 3 days, but the Shaman’s magic cured him and removed the battery from his brain. Consequently, the Shaman (who was also the Medicine man, due to the lack of Sioux) lost his hand because of the battery acid.
Book the Eighth
The Shaman (who was unable to keep his job refilling slot machines at the casino because of his missing hand) joined Greg in search of the “Spoon of Kings.”
Book the Ninth
With only 9 days left to find the spoon, Greg and Spotted Horse (the Shaman) were very worried. Just then, they saw it! A tiny squirrel covered with spikes!
“It’s the squirrel of doom!” Spotted Horse yelled out.
“It has the spoon!” Greg yelled.
Book the Tenth
Greg and Spotted Horse spent 7 days chasing the squirrel of doom. On the eighth day, the Shaman grabbed at the squirrel with his one hand which then became impaled with 676 spikes. Although he no longer had use of his hands, they now had the spoon!
The Book After the Tenth
Now that they had the spoon, they didn’t know what to do with it, so they decided to use it to take turns eating ice cream at Maggie Moo’s. Since Spotted Horse had no hands, Greg fed him.
THE END OF THE CHRONICLES OF GREG
