Post by Kage Chaos on Sept 12, 2006 16:10:16 GMT -5
Earth’s Greatest
By Cody Piechocki
PROLOGUE
Several days after the attack on Earth, only a few survivors/escapees remained. The aliens, or whatever the attackers had been, had long since left after capturing a large amount of humans to be their slaves.
THE FIRST CHAPTER
Kaine was one such survivor. A tall and somewhat lanky fellow, Kaine was frightened as all hell when the attack began. He had managed to avoid being captured, or even noticed at all by Earth's attackers. Strangely enough, the only reason he was able to avoid the fate that he avoided was because he had hidden in a thorn bush, which just happened to be the attackers' weakness, thus causing them to avoid the bushes at all costs.
Luckily for Kaine, he had always lived in a house completely surrounded by thorn bushes. Once he realized the aliens' fear of them, he simply went inside and watched the last episode of Drew Carrey that he would ever see. When the attack ended, he went to his basement, where he had a supply of tools that will conveniently show up later in the story in order for the plot to be held together.
One of these items was a "Survivor Seeker." In case you haven't already guessed, its sole purpose was to find survivors in the case of a large catastrophe, such as a tornado, or in this case, and alien attack. After the aliens left, Kaine used it, and shortly after, he had a list of all of the coordinates where he could find other survivors, as well as a list of their first names and occupations.
One of the survivors was Natalia. Conveniently enough, Natalia lived a few miles down the road from Kaine. Also convenient, she immediately trusted Kaine and agreed to his plan to find the other survivors. A strong and agile ninja, she managed to fight off all of the aliens that tried to enslave her. They were unable to ever hit her with their beam weapons because of her unrivaled agility. They became so frustrated that they simply left her alone. Natalia, unlike Kaine, was no coward, and chased after her attackers, causing them to flee to other places.
Another survivor, whose name was Brian, lived several hundred miles north of Kaine and Natalia. Kaine and Natalia spent a few moments preparing, and then used another convenient item, Kaine’s Multi-Vehicle, which could travel on any terrain, including inter-stellar space travel, hyperspace travel, and ludicrous speed, as seen in the epic film, Spaceballs. Packing the Multi-Vehicle with all of the convenient items, Kaine and Natalia went on their way to find Brian and the other survivors.
Brian was a seashell collector. He had, literally, an arsenal of seashells. He had them in every type, size, color, and texture. He was also a master martial artist, and he used the seashells as his weapons. As weird as that all sounds, there was more weird things about Brian. The reason he survived the alien attack was not because of his extensive seashell collection, nor because he was a master martial artist. The reason for his survival was because he happened to be a prognosticator. He predicted the aliens’ arrival, and while all of those around him thought he was completely insane, they all died, and he was safe in his subterranean, anti-alien defense lair.
Brian was outside and ready to meet Kaine and Natalia when they arrived.
“Hey Kaine, hey Natalia!” Brian greeted them.
“How did you know our names?” Kaine questioned.
“I’m a prognosticator.” Brian explained.
“What’s that?” Kaine asked.
“You might call me a prophet, or a psychic maybe?” Brian answered, “I predicted your arrival, and anticipated that you would need me to join you. I’ve decided that I will. Let’s head to pick up Lester now, shall we?”
“Who’s Les—never mind.” Kaine said, seeing the name on his list of survivors.
Lester lived in Canada. He was the only escapee from the attack.
When the attack had begun in Canada, Lester had already seen and read news reports about it on his state-of-the-art laptop. When his Internet connection ceased, he began to worry. Luckily, just days before, he had printed and read an article on Slashdot which clearly described and mapped how to go about escaping an alien attack, which he now always kept in his pocket. Upon being captured by the aliens, he waited until the right moment, just as the article described, and began his escape.
He climbed into the heat ducts of the alien spacecraft, which were exactly where the article told him they would be. He then followed the perfectly accurate map to the one and only unguarded exit on the ship. After that, he removed his pants, tying them to the ship and using them to climb down to a safe falling distance, where he proceeded to jump, and land on the roof of his house while the aliens flew away, unaware they had lost one of their potential slaves.
Lester was just about to go to sleep (the article instructed that if you were asleep the aliens could not find you) when Kaine, Natalia, and Brian arrived.
“Lester, are you in there!?” Kaine yelled as he knocked on the door.
“Who are you, and how do you know my name?” Lester questioned him.
“I’ll explain later, but for now, we’re a group of survivors, and we’re gathering the others together to come up with a plan.” Kaine answered him.
Reluctantly, Lester grabbed his precious laptop and a few of his other belongings, and stepped out the front door.
Brian greeted him with a smile, “Hello, Lester, I am Brian. This is Kaine and Natalia.”
“Hello,” Lester muttered nervously, “I guess you already know who I am.”
“Yes, I’m a prognosticator,” Brian replied, and then explained, “I predicted most of these events.”
“Then why didn’t you do anything about it?” Lester asked him.
“Honestly, who would believe me? The only reason you believe me is because I survived the attack.” Brian explained briefly, “Now we should probably stop wasting time and get the final few survivors, don’t you think?”
Without letting him reply, Brian stepped back aboard Kaine’s Multi-Vehicle, and gestured for Lester to follow. Lester climbed aboard, and without a moments hesitation the door was shut and they continued their quest.
The next survivor was a teenager. Her name was Kyla. Because she slept nearly 17 hours a day, she managed to avoid ever being detected by the aliens, and thus was left alone. Kyla’s room was full of Slipknot posters, along with a various assortment of other hard rock or heavy metal band posters. She dressed all in black, except for the red hair type that held her dark brown hair back in a ponytail. She was completely unaware that there had even been an alien attack, and when Kaine and the other arrived she assumed they were her parents friends and didn’t answer the door until she realized that her parents were not home.
“Who are you?” she asked when she finally opened the door.
“Were other survivors, like you,” Kaine started.
“Survivors?” Kyla questioned, unaware.
“Uh…yeah. You didn’t know?” Kaine asked her.
“Didn’t know what?” Kyla asked, impatient, “Does this have something to do with my parents being gone?”
“Probably. I mean, they were captured by aliens.” Brian answered her, “You were too busy sleeping to notice, but lucky for you, that’s exactly why you weren’t captured.”
“What are you, nuts?” Kyla stared strangely at the other four.
“I had a feeling you’d say that,” Brian answered her again, “But no, unfortunately it’s true. We’re sorry about your parents.”
“It’s okay. I didn’t like them anyway.” Kyla said, then shook her head, “Wait…this is a joke, right?”
“No, it’s not.” Kaine insisted, growing impatient, “Are you coming with us or not?”
“Where are you going?”
“To get the other survivors. You’re only the fifth.”
“How many are there?”
“Six.”
“Only six?” Kyla sighed, “I knew the human race was hopeless. Well let me get some stuff.”
It may seem as though it was rather easy to convince Kyla about the alien attack even though the only bit of presented proof was the fact that her parents were gone, but what you don’t realize is that I purposely neglected to mention before what I am about to tell you now: When Kyla opened the door, many of the houses in her neighborhood were burned to ashes, torn apart, spray-painted on, or otherwise vandalized. Being as she found it unlikely that Kaine, Natalia, Brian and Lester had done this, she was able to believe them.
Only six survivors. That’s 6 out of approximately 7 billion. That is about 8.57 x 10-10 % of the human race. That is about 1 survivor for every 116666666 captured. This either means that the human race is, as Kyla said, hopeless, or that the aliens are extremely efficient. Given the fact that most of the survivors only survived because of luck, odds are it means that the human race is just hopeless.
When Kaine, Natalia, Brian, Lester, and Kyla boarded Kaine’s Multi-Vehicle, they were (all except Brian) surprised to see someone standing inside.
He was about six-foot-two, and he looked about twenty.
“Who are you?” Kaine asked him.
“He’s the sixth survivor.” Brian spoke before the other man could.
“Yeah,” the other man confirmed.
“How did you get here?” Kaine asked.
“I was teleported here by the Universal Energy Flow of the Universe. Or at least that’s what the recording told me.”
“And he was also informed that he was the sixth and last survivor, blah, blah, blah;” Brian added quickly, “Now let’s go.”
“Where are we gonna go anyway?” Kyla asked.
“Well we’re gonna get revenge on the aliens, hopefully save other humans, and then come back to Earth for a massive procreation festival,” Brian stated, “Or at least that’s what I wanna do.”
“Sounds good to me.” Kaine said.
“Well we don’t have anything better to do.” Kyla admitted, trying to hide the fact that she really, really, really, really, really liked the idea, especially after seeing the sixth survivor.
Natalia remained silent, but nodded.
“Well that’s a majority vote, let’s go.” Brian said impatiently.
Lester seemed satisfied, “Sure.”
“Ok. By the way, my name is Seth.” The other man spoke.
By Cody Piechocki
PROLOGUE
Several days after the attack on Earth, only a few survivors/escapees remained. The aliens, or whatever the attackers had been, had long since left after capturing a large amount of humans to be their slaves.
THE FIRST CHAPTER
Kaine was one such survivor. A tall and somewhat lanky fellow, Kaine was frightened as all hell when the attack began. He had managed to avoid being captured, or even noticed at all by Earth's attackers. Strangely enough, the only reason he was able to avoid the fate that he avoided was because he had hidden in a thorn bush, which just happened to be the attackers' weakness, thus causing them to avoid the bushes at all costs.
Luckily for Kaine, he had always lived in a house completely surrounded by thorn bushes. Once he realized the aliens' fear of them, he simply went inside and watched the last episode of Drew Carrey that he would ever see. When the attack ended, he went to his basement, where he had a supply of tools that will conveniently show up later in the story in order for the plot to be held together.
One of these items was a "Survivor Seeker." In case you haven't already guessed, its sole purpose was to find survivors in the case of a large catastrophe, such as a tornado, or in this case, and alien attack. After the aliens left, Kaine used it, and shortly after, he had a list of all of the coordinates where he could find other survivors, as well as a list of their first names and occupations.
One of the survivors was Natalia. Conveniently enough, Natalia lived a few miles down the road from Kaine. Also convenient, she immediately trusted Kaine and agreed to his plan to find the other survivors. A strong and agile ninja, she managed to fight off all of the aliens that tried to enslave her. They were unable to ever hit her with their beam weapons because of her unrivaled agility. They became so frustrated that they simply left her alone. Natalia, unlike Kaine, was no coward, and chased after her attackers, causing them to flee to other places.
Another survivor, whose name was Brian, lived several hundred miles north of Kaine and Natalia. Kaine and Natalia spent a few moments preparing, and then used another convenient item, Kaine’s Multi-Vehicle, which could travel on any terrain, including inter-stellar space travel, hyperspace travel, and ludicrous speed, as seen in the epic film, Spaceballs. Packing the Multi-Vehicle with all of the convenient items, Kaine and Natalia went on their way to find Brian and the other survivors.
Brian was a seashell collector. He had, literally, an arsenal of seashells. He had them in every type, size, color, and texture. He was also a master martial artist, and he used the seashells as his weapons. As weird as that all sounds, there was more weird things about Brian. The reason he survived the alien attack was not because of his extensive seashell collection, nor because he was a master martial artist. The reason for his survival was because he happened to be a prognosticator. He predicted the aliens’ arrival, and while all of those around him thought he was completely insane, they all died, and he was safe in his subterranean, anti-alien defense lair.
Brian was outside and ready to meet Kaine and Natalia when they arrived.
“Hey Kaine, hey Natalia!” Brian greeted them.
“How did you know our names?” Kaine questioned.
“I’m a prognosticator.” Brian explained.
“What’s that?” Kaine asked.
“You might call me a prophet, or a psychic maybe?” Brian answered, “I predicted your arrival, and anticipated that you would need me to join you. I’ve decided that I will. Let’s head to pick up Lester now, shall we?”
“Who’s Les—never mind.” Kaine said, seeing the name on his list of survivors.
Lester lived in Canada. He was the only escapee from the attack.
When the attack had begun in Canada, Lester had already seen and read news reports about it on his state-of-the-art laptop. When his Internet connection ceased, he began to worry. Luckily, just days before, he had printed and read an article on Slashdot which clearly described and mapped how to go about escaping an alien attack, which he now always kept in his pocket. Upon being captured by the aliens, he waited until the right moment, just as the article described, and began his escape.
He climbed into the heat ducts of the alien spacecraft, which were exactly where the article told him they would be. He then followed the perfectly accurate map to the one and only unguarded exit on the ship. After that, he removed his pants, tying them to the ship and using them to climb down to a safe falling distance, where he proceeded to jump, and land on the roof of his house while the aliens flew away, unaware they had lost one of their potential slaves.
Lester was just about to go to sleep (the article instructed that if you were asleep the aliens could not find you) when Kaine, Natalia, and Brian arrived.
“Lester, are you in there!?” Kaine yelled as he knocked on the door.
“Who are you, and how do you know my name?” Lester questioned him.
“I’ll explain later, but for now, we’re a group of survivors, and we’re gathering the others together to come up with a plan.” Kaine answered him.
Reluctantly, Lester grabbed his precious laptop and a few of his other belongings, and stepped out the front door.
Brian greeted him with a smile, “Hello, Lester, I am Brian. This is Kaine and Natalia.”
“Hello,” Lester muttered nervously, “I guess you already know who I am.”
“Yes, I’m a prognosticator,” Brian replied, and then explained, “I predicted most of these events.”
“Then why didn’t you do anything about it?” Lester asked him.
“Honestly, who would believe me? The only reason you believe me is because I survived the attack.” Brian explained briefly, “Now we should probably stop wasting time and get the final few survivors, don’t you think?”
Without letting him reply, Brian stepped back aboard Kaine’s Multi-Vehicle, and gestured for Lester to follow. Lester climbed aboard, and without a moments hesitation the door was shut and they continued their quest.
The next survivor was a teenager. Her name was Kyla. Because she slept nearly 17 hours a day, she managed to avoid ever being detected by the aliens, and thus was left alone. Kyla’s room was full of Slipknot posters, along with a various assortment of other hard rock or heavy metal band posters. She dressed all in black, except for the red hair type that held her dark brown hair back in a ponytail. She was completely unaware that there had even been an alien attack, and when Kaine and the other arrived she assumed they were her parents friends and didn’t answer the door until she realized that her parents were not home.
“Who are you?” she asked when she finally opened the door.
“Were other survivors, like you,” Kaine started.
“Survivors?” Kyla questioned, unaware.
“Uh…yeah. You didn’t know?” Kaine asked her.
“Didn’t know what?” Kyla asked, impatient, “Does this have something to do with my parents being gone?”
“Probably. I mean, they were captured by aliens.” Brian answered her, “You were too busy sleeping to notice, but lucky for you, that’s exactly why you weren’t captured.”
“What are you, nuts?” Kyla stared strangely at the other four.
“I had a feeling you’d say that,” Brian answered her again, “But no, unfortunately it’s true. We’re sorry about your parents.”
“It’s okay. I didn’t like them anyway.” Kyla said, then shook her head, “Wait…this is a joke, right?”
“No, it’s not.” Kaine insisted, growing impatient, “Are you coming with us or not?”
“Where are you going?”
“To get the other survivors. You’re only the fifth.”
“How many are there?”
“Six.”
“Only six?” Kyla sighed, “I knew the human race was hopeless. Well let me get some stuff.”
It may seem as though it was rather easy to convince Kyla about the alien attack even though the only bit of presented proof was the fact that her parents were gone, but what you don’t realize is that I purposely neglected to mention before what I am about to tell you now: When Kyla opened the door, many of the houses in her neighborhood were burned to ashes, torn apart, spray-painted on, or otherwise vandalized. Being as she found it unlikely that Kaine, Natalia, Brian and Lester had done this, she was able to believe them.
Only six survivors. That’s 6 out of approximately 7 billion. That is about 8.57 x 10-10 % of the human race. That is about 1 survivor for every 116666666 captured. This either means that the human race is, as Kyla said, hopeless, or that the aliens are extremely efficient. Given the fact that most of the survivors only survived because of luck, odds are it means that the human race is just hopeless.
When Kaine, Natalia, Brian, Lester, and Kyla boarded Kaine’s Multi-Vehicle, they were (all except Brian) surprised to see someone standing inside.
He was about six-foot-two, and he looked about twenty.
“Who are you?” Kaine asked him.
“He’s the sixth survivor.” Brian spoke before the other man could.
“Yeah,” the other man confirmed.
“How did you get here?” Kaine asked.
“I was teleported here by the Universal Energy Flow of the Universe. Or at least that’s what the recording told me.”
“And he was also informed that he was the sixth and last survivor, blah, blah, blah;” Brian added quickly, “Now let’s go.”
“Where are we gonna go anyway?” Kyla asked.
“Well we’re gonna get revenge on the aliens, hopefully save other humans, and then come back to Earth for a massive procreation festival,” Brian stated, “Or at least that’s what I wanna do.”
“Sounds good to me.” Kaine said.
“Well we don’t have anything better to do.” Kyla admitted, trying to hide the fact that she really, really, really, really, really liked the idea, especially after seeing the sixth survivor.
Natalia remained silent, but nodded.
“Well that’s a majority vote, let’s go.” Brian said impatiently.
Lester seemed satisfied, “Sure.”
“Ok. By the way, my name is Seth.” The other man spoke.
