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Post by Halthorn on Jan 8, 2007 20:04:03 GMT -5
I'm not much of a poet but sometimes I feel the need to write like this, and yes my poems are usually pretty emotional. I've done minimal revisions so it's still pretty raw, but here goes.
The Release
These emotions, Like a gale force storm. Blow me from wall to wall in frustration. Forcing me to raise my blade in sacrifice.
Skin deep into my release. Just another barrier holding me back. Time to break it, To feed the tempest that beckons.
Vessel deep into my sweet release. What a cruel irony, I’ve dreamt of flying into the sunset, Now I’ve turned the floor into the crimson sky
Muscle deep into my soothing release. My thoughts drain with my strength Peace is nearly restored. But my frailty leaves no will to rebuild.
Soul deep into my last release. The final support of my being. Spilled out for all to see, But none to love.
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Post by silver on Jan 8, 2007 20:29:06 GMT -5
Firstly, one of the sure signs of a new poet is having a capital letter on every line.
comma after "storm"
I like the last lines. they seem like something each reader could derive a personal meaning from.
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Post by Halthorn on Jan 8, 2007 20:34:00 GMT -5
Cursed capital letter thing, I knew it was wrong but my creative writing teacher always made us or she would take away points, so now it's just habit >.<
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Post by twilightblade on Feb 8, 2007 12:14:03 GMT -5
Hmmm...this is about suicide? With a knife? Going through the stages of skin, blood vessel, muscle, and heart/soul? With the crimson sky on the floor the blood, and the final support that is spilled out also the blood?
Wonderful poem!
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