Advice on writing a fairytale parody

[blossom]

Well, I think the title about says it. And I hope I posted this is the right place .... ;D

I have to write a fairytale parody for my English class. It has to be at least a page long, but not too much longer than that. Anyways, since a lot of you are writers from WF, and since I can't post this on WF since it's being EVIL I thought you could give me some advice.

Thanks in advance ;D

B x

[fantasy]

Well, you have to be careful about doing that now, what with Shrek being so famous. One page isn't a lot, but if you're struggling, try to remember the disney films you watched (the ones that aren't on Shrek, maybe), and use them. I have no clue what to ofer you in specifics. Maybe shoot your ideas and I'll tell you what I think?

[twilightblade]

Take a look at the story from the 'evil' guy's point of view. Or a minor character's...it gets interesting.

[fantasy]

Lol, yea that's a good idea.

Or do something like pinochio only he's an arshole or something.

[blossom]

Thought I'd let you know, since I posted this aaaaages ago and never actually replied (sorry) that I did Little Red Riding Hood from the wolf's POV and I got an A

[Kage Chaos]

POST IT!!

[blossom]

I did two, but I can only find one. Here the parody in the form of a fairytale ... the other was a deposition of little red riding hood, granny and woodcutter cos the wolf was suing them. I'll try and find it .... anyway, here's the one I CAN find:

Once upon a time, there was a young girl who lived in a small cottage on the edge of a large forest. This little girl was known as Little Red Hoodie, because she always wore a bright red hoodie she had been given one year for her birthday. Unfortunately, though, this made people think she was a thug, and a chav, and everyone treated her like she was a very bad person. Even her local Co-op had banned her from shopping there. So, poor Little Red Hoodie said to her, “Well, if that is how people treat me, then that is how I shall be!”, and she developed a bad attitude. She started hanging out with the wrong crowd, who introduced her to an elderly woman called Granny. Granny was not a very nice woman, and she got Little Red Hoodie to do all sorts of bad things, like stealing Bo Peep’s sheep, and pushing Humpty Dumpty off his wall. But there was something Little Red Hoodie didn’t know - the police were after Granny, and now after Little Red Hoodie too! And they had a plan to catch them both. The officer in charge of this operation was known as Wolf.

Wolf was hiding behind one of the trees in the forest as he waited for Little Red Hoodie to come along. This was the only path to Granny’s house, and Wolf had made sure to get there early, so he wouldn’t miss Little Red Hoodie! Today she was bringing Granny the latest thing she had been asked to steal, so Wolf had a plan to catch them both. It was simple: distract Little Red Hoodie on her way to Granny’s, then get to Granny’s house before her. He then had to pretend to be Granny, so Little Red Hoodie would give the stolen item to him, and he could then arrest them both. Simple indeed, but there were lots of things that could go wrong.

Wolf looked up - what was that sound? It was the crunching of boots on gravel! He looked around the tree and - there! Little Red Hoodie was walking down the path, holding a big wicker basket. She was wearing her bright red hoodie, so she stood out in the green forest. When she passed Wolf’s hiding place, he jumped out in front of her.

“Well, well, well,” he said, “What have we here? A little girl walking through the forest all by herself?”

“I’m taking a basket of goodies to my Granny, who is sick in bed with a cold.” Little Red Hoodie replied, smiling sweetly. But clever Wolf wasn’t fooled for a second - he knew that Little Red Hoodie’s basket of goodies was actually the three bears’ porridge.

“How thoughtful of you!” he said now, “But surely if your dear grandmother is sick, a nice bunch of flowers would make her feel better?”

Well, Little Red Hoodie knew that Granny wasn’t really ill, but she didn’t want to tell Wolf that, so she answered him, “What an excellent idea!” She skipped off the path to a nearby flowerbed, and starting picking some. Wolf saw his chance and turned and ran down the path to Granny’s house. He hoped Little Red Hoodie would be distracted long enough for him to pretend to be Granny.

Granny’s house was deep in the woods, but Wolf was a fast runner, and it did not take him long to get there. He went up to the front door and rapped on it with his knuckles. An old woman’s voice called out from inside,

“Who is it?”

“Why, it is your Little Red Hoodie, dear Granny,” Wolf replied in a falsetto voice, “I have brought you a basket of goodies to comfort you while you are ill.”

“Then do come in, my Little Red Hoodie.” Wolf pushed open the door and walked inside. Granny called out again, saying she was in bed, so Wolf walked down the hallway to her bedroom and pushed open the door. Inside, an elderly woman with curly white hair was sat up in bed.

“Why, you’re not my Little Red Hoodie!” she gasped.

“No. Sorry Grandma.” Wolf answered. Granny jumped out of bed, revealing herself not be a frail old woman, but a strong, fit woman, and there was a brief struggle between her and Wolf. Well, Wolf won, and tied her wrists and ankles together. He also duct-taped her mouth to stop her yelling profanities at him. He then locked her inside her cupboard.

It was now time to disguise him. The police had give him a mask, beautifully made to look just like Granny. Wolf pulled it on, and also dressed in one of Granny’s nightdresses. He also put a nightcap on, so Little Red Hoodie would not see his hair.

Just as he settled himself into Granny’s bed, there was a knock at the door. Wolf once again used a high pitched voice to imitate Granny, calling out,

“Who is it?”

“Why, it is your Little Red Hoodie, dear Granny,” Little Red Hoodie answered, “I have brought you a basket of goodies to comfort you while you’re ill.”

“Then do come in, my Little Red Hoodie,” Wolf called out. He heard the door opening, then the sound of boots coming down the hallway, and Little Red Hoodie came into the room.

“How are you feeling today, dear Granny?” she asked.

“Your basket of goodies will make me feel so much better,” Wolf answered.

“Granny …” Little Red Hoodie spoke slowly, “Why aren’t your lips moving?”

“Uh …” Wolf panicked, “Granny … had a little plastic surgery done … botox comes at a price, you know.”

“Granny …” Little Red Hoodie looked suspicious, “Why aren’t you wearing your glasses?”

“Uh …” said Wolf, “Granny … had laser eye surgery … I don’t need glasses any more, you know.”

“Granny …” Little Red Hoodie’s eyes narrowed, “Why are you wearing a mask?”

“Because I’m not Granny!” Wolf cried, jumping out of bed, “I’m Officer Wolf and you’re under arrest!”

It so happened that a woodcutter was passing by the house, and he heard Little Red Hoodie cry out, “Oh, you wicked man!” He thought to himself, you’d better see if everything’s all right, so he lifted the latch to Granny’s house, and went inside. When he came to Granny’s bedroom, he saw Little Red Hoodie trying to fight off Wolf. Well, the poor woodcutter thought that Wolf was the villain here, so he called out,

“Leave the young lady alone, you devil, or I will deal with you!”

Wolf looked at him irritated. “Not,” he said, “Unless you want to be slapped with a lawsuit for obstructing justice.” The woodcutter was rather taken aback but then he realised what had happened, and he helped Wolf arrest Granny and Little Red Hoodie.

And they all lived happily ever after. Except for Granny and Little Red Hoodie.

[twilightblade]

rotfl! That is soo funny. Good one too.

[blossom]

I know this was absolutely AGES ago, but I found the deposition I wrote (I mentioned it above) and I wanted to share it with y'all!

Deposition of Little Red Riding Hood and Granny Hood
in case of The Wolf/ United Villains
Association of Brothers Grimm, Local 6884
vs.
The Woodcutter
held at the offices of
the Butcher, the Baker and the Candlestick Maker
444 Drury Lane, Suite 1304
Never Never Land, NNL 10032


Appearances:
- Little Red Riding Hood (RH)
- Granny Hood (GH)
- Humpty Dumpty (HD)
- Recorded by Bo Peep (BP) for later comparison with stenographer’s transcript
- Little Boy Blue, Shorthand Reporter and Notary Public within and for the state of Fairyland

BP: Good morning, Miss Hood, Mrs Hood. Thank you so much for coming. Please have a seat. May I get you a cup of coffee, tea, juice – whatever you’d prefer?

RH: Coffee would be nice, please.

GH: Yes, I wouldn’t mind a coffee.

BP: Fine. Mr. Dumpty should be joining us in a second. I’ll just be a minute while I get your coffees. Do you take cream or sugar?

RH: Yes, both, thank you.

GH: Just sugar, please.

(Sound of door closing)
(Sound of door opening)

HD: Ah, good morning. I see Bo Peep’s got the recorder going already … where’d she go?

RH: To get coffee.

HD: Great. And here’s the stenographer, so I can we can sta-

GH: Shouldn’t the Wolf be here? And his lawyer?

HD: This is just a pretrial conference. I find it’s good to get all the facts straight before moving on to any formal proceedings. Less surprises that way. Okay?

RH: That’s fine.

HD: Good. Well, I’m Humpty Dumpty, and I’m representing the Woodcutter against the Wolf, by whom I understand you were …

(Sound of shuffling papers)

HD (con’t) …. eaten?

GH: That’s right. Not for very long. The Woodcutter got us out.

HD: I see. Do you think you could describe exactly what happened?

GH: Well, I was ill in bed with a cold, and I heard a knock at the door. I asked who was there and someone answered in Little Red’s voice. They said they had a basket of goodies to comfort me while I was ill. So, of course, being the trusting person that I am, I told them to come in, thinking it was Little Red. Then, this horrendously ugly monster bounded in, and I barely had time to be surprised before he gobbled me up. I didn’t even see who it was!

HD: You didn’t actually see that it was the Wolf?

GH: Oh well, no, I suppose not ….

HD: I see. Little Red, could you describe your own encounter with the Wolf?

RH: Well, I was taking a basket of goodies to Granny since she was sick, and I was walking along the forest path when the Wolf appeared in front of me. He asked what I was doing, and so I told him. He suggested that I pick Granny a bunch of flowers to make her feel better. I thought it was a good idea, so I left the path to go and pick some flowers. When I turned around the Wolf was gone.

HD: You left the forest path?

RH: Yes. Just for a few minutes.

HD: I see. So what happened when you got to Granny’s house?

RH: Well, I knocked on the door and Granny’s voice called out. I told her who I was that I had brought her a basket of goodies. She told me to come in, so I did. I noticed that there was something odd about her though … so I asked her. And she jumped out of bed and gobbled me up!

HD: But you didn’t actually recognise her as the Wolf in disguise?

RH: Well, no. She just seemed odd.

HD: You’re telling me you can’t tell the difference between a wolf and your grandmother?

RH: Your point being?

HD: My point being you’re either incredibly stupid or come from an extremely ugly family.

RH: He was wearing a mask!

HD: So you didn’t noticed when her lips didn’t move?

RH: Well, I did, but she … he … just said she’d … he’d … it’d had plastic surgery!

(Sound of door opening)

HD: Ah … here’s Bo Peep with the coffee. Great. Now, you’re telling me the only time you recognised the Wolf for who he was is when he recommended you pick flowers?

RH: I suppose so.

HD: Then the only one who could identify the Wolf as the one who ate you is the Woodcutter, but he’s the one being sued.

RH: Well who else would it have been?

HD: Who else would want to eat you?

RH: I don’t know! I didn’t even know the Wolf wanted to eat us!

HD: You didn’t? Then why would he?

GH: Because he’s a villainous scoundrel!

RH: After all, he’s already caused trouble for others, like Bo –

HD: Go on.

RH: Um. No. Sorry. That’s it. That’s all I have to say.

HD: You were saying something about Bo Peep?

RH: No, I wasn’t.

HD: Yes, you were.

RH: I really wasn’t.

HD: Little Red, this is being recorded, remember? I can just play the tape back. Plus Little Boy Blue is taking this down. Blue, if you could just read back to me Little Red’s last –

RH: Well, I was just saying. You know. How the Wolf has done bad things. Like stealing Bo Peep’s sheep.

BP: That was the Wolf!?

GH: Didn’t you ever hear about the Wolf in sheep’s clothing?

RH: Yeah. And he’s done other things. Like blowing down the pigs’ houses. And pushing you off that wall.

HD: None of those things were ever proved. And I doubt this will be either.

RH: This is ridiculous! The Woodcutter saved us! The Witch didn’t sue Gretel for pushing her into that oven!

HD: Yes, well, she had her own problems. Her house didn’t comply with building regulations. Now, can I have a straight answer. Did either of you recognise the Wolf as the one who ate you?

RH: Oh my gosh, is that the time? Really? Because we have to go.

HD: You do.

RH: Yes, to meet my father.

HD: Your father?

RH: Yes, the Muffin Man. He was the one who baked the goodies I took to Granny.

HD: I see. Well, I’ll show you out.

[twilightblade]

lol!